Youtube Bachelor
by ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl
Summary: Summary: Dan Howell is chosen as the first ever Youtube Bachelor. What happens when he is left to chose the love of his life from seven men who all want to win for their own reasons? Includes: danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, Charlieskies, Joey Graceffa, Shane Dawson, CapnDesDes, AhoyNateo- and Manesh?
1. Chapter 1

x.x.x

Chapter One

.x.x.x.

Hello, and welcome to the Youtube Bachelor! After reviewing many try-out videos and laughing at the desperation that is the male side of youtube, we're pleased to announce that we've picked the perfect contestant. He's been through constant online ridicule, embraces a very distinct sense of humor, and has an odd obsession with leather. We welcome Daniel James Howell as the first ever Youtube Bachelor!

Before we can start this season of love, secrets, and laughs, it's only proper to introduce the hosts of our show—that's right, hosts as in plural gentlemen. We could actually afford two and they have just what we're looking for to run our show. We couldn't be happier to introduce Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla!

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_Behind the Scenes with Ian Hecox_

Yeah, I'm kinda just here because I heard that we get to make fun of the contestants and mess around with 'em. Can I say that? Shit. Am I allowed to cuss? I'm taking that as a yes. So, yeah, hey guys. Pretty stoked to be hosting with Anthony. We've got some crazy stuff planned for the contestants, so be sure to stick around.

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_BTS with Anthony__ Padilla_

Is the camera rolling? Okay, yeah heya there. I'm Anthony Padilla—not Padildo or Tortilla, got it? I was pretty honored to be invited to be part of the first Youtube Bachelor and all. We've got seven great people that we'll be meeting soon and I guess we've just got to see if Dan will find love in any of them.

.

With our hosts introduced and a great show planned ahead, we're ready to begin our first ever episode of the Youtube Bachelor.

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**7p.m**

Dan stood rather nervously in the courtyard before the villa that he and the seven other contestants would be staying in for the next two days. The next destination was yet to be announced by Ian and Anthony, whom at the time were nowhere to be found.

His hands found comfort in the front pockets of his dress pants as he rocked back and forth on his heels. After finding out that he had actually won something in which he would get to go on luxurious trips and find the love of his life, he felt both great excitement and anxiety.

Dan knew the other contestants were fellow youtubers, but he wasn't sure which had been chosen. So as he waited for the limo to arrive with the first guest, all he could do was hope for the best.

.

_BTS with Dan Howell_

Okay so like, I admit, I was a bit nervous. I wasn't like 'oh my fucking god i'm going to actually bolt to the limo, kick the chauffeur out, and drive the fuck outta here'. It was more like a subtle, 'oh my god, Dan, why in the hell did you decide to do this.' Then I remembered I get to travel and drink fine champagne and tequila and get to be lavished with adoration. Oh, and yeah I guess I get to find love or some shit too.

.

The first limo rolled onto the cobblestone a couple of feet before Dan. He took his hands out of his front pockets and grasped them formally before himself, though he still rocked on his heels. He had chosen to go with a bow-tie as opposed to the tradition sleek, black tie and had his hair straightened to his usual fringe.

The limo door was opened by the chauffeur and the first contestant got out.

A man stood tall and slim in a black suit and light blue tie. Fine black hair was straightened similarly to Dan's and fell right above his blue eyes, accented nicely by his tie. His walk was awkward, shy, and a bit quirky as he approached Dan; all Dan could do was stare.

.

_BTS with Dan Howell_

*silence*

_"Uh, you're supposed to tal-"_

Give me a minute.

_"Wh-"_

*more silence*

.

"Phil," Dan greeted him warmly. Phil went for a handshake as Dan went for a hug and awkward chuckles emitted as Dan muttered "jesus fucking christ" under his breath. "I've, ha, I watch you all the time!- I, uh, oh my god, not like that. On youtube I watch you—your videos, I mean. Not all the time, like occasionally. When you upload I'll watch, not like I'm stalking your videos; that'd be weird—I'm not a stalker, I swear. Oh my god."

Phil laughed genuinely as his right hand held his left elbow; a stance only proving his shyness. "No, it's fine! I'm surprised that you watch my videos…I see you on my Tumblr dashboard sometimes so I decided to watch your videos. They're really funny! You like Buffy, too?"

Dan smiled and calmed down a bit. "Yeah, from watching your videos I know we have a lot in common," The two smiled at each other, only to shyly look away again. "Well, we should definitely continue this conversation once I'm done and we're all inside, okay?"

"Absolutely!" Phil grinned and walked to the front door of the villa. It was an elegant looking building with intricate design and many windows. Trees surrounded the courtyard, decorated with lit, golden paper lanterns. A small fountain flowed soothingly not too far from the door. Inside, all of the lights were on as well, creating a glowing atmosphere.

The limo that had brought Phil had left and Dan anxiously awaited his next possible potential husband. A couple of minutes passed and the next smoothly rolled up across from him.

Out of the limo walked a man with skin paler than Phil's, eyes darker than Dan had thought possible, and a smirk that made Dan a bit uneasy. The man's stroll towards him was a painful slow; it looked like he enjoyed every clack of his dress-shoe heel against the cobblestone and found amusement in the way that Dan was reacting to it all.

"Charlie," the man held out his thin, bony hand for Dan to shake.

"Dan," he replied and shook it gingerly. Charlie took tighter hold of his hand and pulled him a bit closer so his mouth was near his ear.

"I know your name, why else would I be here?" he smiled. "Just as I know everyone else who's here, but if I should know anyone, it should be you, right?"

"Yeah, I guess." Dan felt a bit embarrassed.

Charlie let go of his hand and replaced the previous smirk with a natural, easygoing grin. "In all honestly, Mr. Howell, I find myself a huge fan of your youtube content. Your sass never fails to intrigue me."

Dan tucked the corners of his lips into his mouth as he does when he's nervous. "I'm glad I can, um, do that for you, Charlie."

"Just as I'm glad to be here." He shot Dan another smile before strolling off towards the villa door.

The same process was repeated with the limos until a man with blonde hair styled into a quiff stepped out. He wore a white suit and metallic golden tie, his eyes a bright greenish-blue, and his stance stated that he was pretty confident.

"Well, hello there!" the man quickly made his way over to Dan to shake his hand. He was pretty animated and cool. "My name's Joey, pleasure to meet ya." Joey spoke in a fun and quirky way, his eyes seemed to speak as well.

"Nice to meet you too-"

"Wow, look at this place," Joey glanced around the outside of the villa; a soft southern accent suddenly was used. "It has cute little lights and everythaaang.."

"You're American?" Dan asked to make conversation.

"Yup," Joey switched back to talking normally, only to switch back. "Quite the flight, lemme tell ya, goodness-gracianniyus…well, I'm sure it'll be worth it, Dan." Joey flashed a perfect toothy grin as he walked to the entrance of the villa.

The next man to walk out of the limo was nothing less than interesting. "Oh my god, I'm shaking. Look at this place—am I on tv, holy shit am I on tv?" This contestant had light brown hair in a fringe a bit longer than Dan's. His eyes were a similar color to Joey's; he wore the usual black suit and green tie.

Dan did an awkward little wave as the man just stood outside of the door of limo. "Oh!" an expression spread over his face like he should have known. He started over to Dan and introduced himself. "I'm Shane. Okay i'm gonna let you in on a secret, I did not know this shit was gonna be so fancy and I did not pack accordingly like, ohh girl," he swept his bangs to the side with his hand. "Are pug shirts acceptable?" He was similar to Joey in the way he talked; his accent more-or-less seemed to change every other sentence. Then he talked like exasperated ghetto woman.

Dan chuckled. "Yes, pug shirts are fine. I actually like pugs quite a lot-"

Shane gave him a look like he'd found the love of his life. "C'mere, gurl," He pulled Dan into his arms and pat at his head. "You are beautiful, don't you ever let anyone tell you otherwise." Shane fake-sniffled.

"All I had said was that I would be fine with your pug shirt-"

"But that proves that you would love me no matter what, ohh this is gettin' real emotinal," he wiped at his fake tears. "Hey, isn't Joey Graceffa supposed to be here?"

"Joey? He's inside." he replied.

Shake looked at Dan, then stared to the front door very slowly, then quick back to Dan, then at the door slowly again. "You know, I feel like we have this connection, Devin-"

"Dan."

"-and I feel like if I went to leave inside, our connection would keep us together. Stay strong without me." He started for the door, turning around every other step to motion between Dan and himself to show their 'connection.'

The next limo rolled up with music blaring from the inside. The bass was so loud that Dan could see the windows literally pulsating. The chauffeur got out and sighed as he opened the door for two men that jumped out with wine glasses filled with some bright beverage.

"Yoooo," the one with edgy red hair made some weird sign with his free hand that wasn't holding the glass. The other had black hair that seemed to defy gravity as it was styled like he was a character out of Final Fantasy or World of Warcraft or something. They both wore sunglasses. "well fuck me in the butthole, look at this place, Des."

"Hella," the other one nodded as he looked around. "Like this is fuckin' cooler than going rollerblading with penguins—imagine how fucking cute that shit would be though. Like woah look at me rollerblading—nah motherfucker get the fuck outta my way i'm a penguin. Haha!"

Dan looked to the side awkwardly, then back at them.

"Dude, dude, dude what if the penguin had sunglasses, though."

"I guess you could say that penguin would be….pretty chill." The two erupted in laughter and jumped around.

"Uh-" Dan tried to speak up but the two kept jumping around and laughing. The chauffeur had to go and tap the one with the red hair on the shoulder and point at Dan.

"The fuck do you want, Pablo! We're busy-" The two looked over to Dan and in unison laughed.

"Yeah, um, hi…" Dan tried not to laugh as the two started towards him.

"Nathan, but call me Nate," the one with the red hair said.

"Destery, but just call me the winner of this whole competition." he nodded, his sunglasses only adding to his comment.

"Yoooo," Nate and Destery did this complicated handshake. "That was hella sick, bro."

Dan sighed. "Or I could just call you the illiterate loser that I sent back into the limo on the first day," Just because it's the Youtube Bachelor, doesn't mean Dan is any less of a sass master. "Woah, that was hella sick, bro." he imitated them in a deep voice and highfived himself.

Destery and Nate exchanged glances and smiled. "We like you." They nodded like they had gained some respect for Dan, and left towards the villa.

The last contestant that arrived was, well, interesting to say the least. Out of the last limo was an Indian man, no taller than 5'4. He shuffled over to Dan, whom towered over him, and stood there in a black suit and a tie with a giraffe pattern.

"no gud at english, but i manesh"

Dan held back his laugh. "Man-ish? Just because you're short doesn't mean you're any less of a man-"

"no no name is manesh"

"Oh…well that's a lovely name, Manesh. Your tie is, erm, well I haven't seen one like it all night."

.

_BTS with Manesh_

_"Why did you choose to wear a giraffe tie for your first impression with Dan?"_

i just rly like giraffes

.

"thank" Manesh then turned and started for the villa. Dan looked around and mouthed 'what the fuck?'

Just then Ian and Anthony walked out with a red rose. "Daniel," Anthony greeted as Ian did the same. "How would you say first impressions went?"

"Ha, well I think the array of characters you two chose are all different and interesting to say the least."

Ian and Anthony slyly highfived. "So, who do you think it went the best with?" Ian asked, twirling the rose around.

Dan thought a minute. "Well, I think the most civilized talk I had with anyone had to have been Phil, so I'm going to say him."

"Cool, great. Well, here's how things work. Contestants don't get voted off every week; they'll all be here until the end. Though, each week you'll give a rose to one of them. This will give them an advantage.  
"Advantage how?" Dan raised a brow.

"Well," Anthony started, "The person who received a rose the previous week will choose things like who stays home when you all go on group dates and things like that. This will also cause a bit of drama for all of the men in the house which will surely be interesting."

Dan shrugged. "Seems simple enough."

"So, first rose goes to Phil Lester. Tune in next week where we'll get to know a bit more about our contestants and see how they all interact with one another."

"Will they get along? Will all hell break loose? Who will Dan choose in the end? This has been Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla, see you next week on the Youtube Bachelor."

.x.x.x.

**Oh my god why am I writing this. Even though, it's great to write crack fics again, I've missed writing fanfiction purely for this reason. Like Ian and Anthony said, make sure to stick around to see all the drama that comes with wanting to win Dan's heart. Lemme know what you think, if you want. You can also keep track of this story on my blog; link on my profile.**

**Love Always,**

**ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl**


	2. Chapter 2

**Previously on the Youtube Bachelor**

_Our bachelor, Daniel James Howell, met seven men that he could potentially fall in love with. The first rose was given to Phil Lester because Dan felt that he had the most "civilized" talk with him. _

_Now our bachelor must face being in a room with all of them and get to know them better. It is up to Dan to choose who he wants to spend the most time with, but will this stop others from intervening? _

.

Dan stood in the parlor before the seven men. Everyone but himself sat on the large couch that wrapped around in a wide c-shape. The room felt heavy with lingering tensions and Dan decided the best way to relieve this was to do a toast—or perhaps he just needed some alcohol.

The parlor was a brightly lit room with ornate furnishing and articulate interior decorating. In the center of the room was a low glass table that was adorned with a variety of finger foods—ranging from chocolate-dipped strawberries to grapes and fine cheese. Candles were lit and a sweet redolence hung in the room.

"So," Dan held up a wine glasses as everyone else did, "to making the most of this whole experience." With a cheer of agreement, everyone clinked their glasses together and laughed. Just then Ian and Anthony walked in.

"Hi Smosh," Shane waved, a huge smile on his face.

Ian and Anthony exchanged glances. "Hey ShaneDawsonTV, ShaneDawsonTV2, and shane," Everyone chucked. "Okay, this is a rule though. No referring to each other by our channel names because it's plain creepy." Ian said.

"Anyway," Anthony started. "Could Phil Lester come over here for a minute?" Phil gave a confused look before setting his glass down and starting towards the three. Ian gave the previous rose to Dan and nudged towards Phil.

"Oh, right," Dan blushed. "Um, Phil? Will you accept this first rose?"

.

**BTS with Phil Lester**

I definitely wasn't expecting to get the first rose. Like, Dan is so cool and I dunno; I was afraid he thought I was really lame. When I went for a handshake and he reached to hug me, I just about wanted to curl into a ball and never see day again, haha. I'm glad he thought otherwise though.

.

"Yes," Phil replied shyly as Dan handed him the rose. "Thank you."

The room anchored heavier with the weight of tension as the other six stared with envy. Destery and Nathan had lowered their sunglasses as Charlie tapped a thin finger against his jawline as he observed the two. Shane had earlier chose to sit next to Joey and leaned over to whisper something to him.

"We had a connection," Shane whispered. "This Phil kid, he looks innocent. Too innocent."

Joey smirked. "Jealous already?"

Shane returned the smirk and leaned closer to Joey to whisper. "Hardly. Just sayin', we should make an alliance."

"Hmm, I'll think about it." Joey turned his attention back to Dan and Phil. Charlie sipped his wine and leaned back as Phil joined them back at the couch.

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**BTS with Charlie**

Okay. Like, this whole behind the scenes thing is kind of stupid. You know? Anyway.. I don't really care that Phil got the first rose. First impressions aren't that important.

Can I go now?

.

Ian and Anthony grabbed glasses of their own and tapped them with silverware to get everyone's attention again. "It's that time of the night to get to know not only Dan, but everyone you'll be staying with for the duration of this journey for love." Ian said with a chuckle.

"But, why have Dan talk about himself—boring—when we could have people who know him much better describe him," Anthony added with a growing smile. "Throughout the competition, you'll meet friends of Dan who will fill you in on Dan himself and the ways to his heart."

Dan looked at them slowly with an expression clearly stating that he had no idea about this. "What in the actual fuck?" he passed it off with a chuckle. "I wasn't told about this."

"Of course you weren't," Ian replied and pulled Dan off down the corridor. "Where would the fun in that be?"

Anthony waited until they were completely down the hall to open the opposing door in the parlor.

Everyone just about broke their neck trying to look around Anthony from the couch to see who the secret guest was. "Oh, c'mon, Ant! Kill their curiosity already, would ya?" A tall boy with brown hair and a wide smile stepped around Anthony and did a little bow. "Chris Kendall. The pleasure, my boys, is all yours."

"Where's Pj?" Charlie asked with a smug smile. Chris and his friend Pj—whom was also a friend of Dan's—were known to be pretty inseparable.

Chris looked around bewildered. "Pj!… Pj! Oh god—I've lost Pj! Whoever will I compare this fumbling idiot to? Pj!"

Charlie rolled his eyes and Anthony pat Chris on the shoulder. "Chris here will tell you some things to remember about Dan and hopefully how to play your cards right. Good luck." Anthony left the room, closing the door with a soft thud.

Chris pulled up a smaller chair and turned it around cooly as he sat down, his arms resting against the back. "So," he started. "raise your hand if you're here to fall in love with Dan."

All of the hands in the room went up. Chris sighed.

"Liars!" he dramatically got up from the chair and paced the room. He spoke in a dramatic, but silly, yell. "Liars, the main lot of ya! I mean, how many of you like Dan because of his personality?"

All of the hands went up again.

"Jesus Christ," Chris pinched the bridge of his nose. "Have you met the boy? He is a walking thesaurus of sass and you're going to tell me you actually like his personality?"

Destery and Nate awkwardly raised their hands. "I dunno, man," Nate started. "He seemed pretty hella, yknow? He out-sassed Des and I earlier. We thought it was pretty cool."

Chris sighed again. "Americans, I swear to god. Are you both that dense? He's fuckin' danisnotonfiyurrrr—a'course he's gonna be sassy. And don't you ever compliment him, he'll start expecting it."

Shane cheekily rose his hand and tilted his hand. "Yeah, Ian said we couldn't call each other by our channel names. Soooo.." he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"And why wouldn't we compliment him? It's like your teaching us how to make him dislike us." Joey added and crossed his legs cooly.

Chris slowly started towards both of them. "Done with ya, each of you will now never learn the way to that leather-obsessed, afraid of trees, introvert that we label Dan Howell. Out! Both of you!"

Shane and Joey matched Chris's glare before they both left. Then it was just Chris, Phil, Charlie, Des and Nate, and Manesh.

"Look, if I could tell ya all one thing, it'd be to listen to everything the lad says. Listen to all of it and remember. He's a weird sentiment like that." Chris yawned and started for the door.

"T-That's it?" Phil spoke up. "You only just got here.."

Chris looked at Phil and smiled. "Somethings ya gotta learn yourself, ya get it?"

"why do have to learn" manesh spoke for the first time in the parlor.

Chris looked at him and gave a weird look. "When in the hell did you even get here, jesus…"

Manesh only smiled widely at Chris.

"Anyway, I'm only here to make sure you'd be able to deal with Dan's crazy cool friends like myself. You five passed. Head to the veranda to see Dan." he gave a lazy wave and left through the opposing door.

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**BTS with Chris Kendall**

Those five? They'll be fine probably. Dan's weird—a tricky little fella. If they can interest him in the slightest that's a good sign; he hasn't got the widest attention span. Besides that, making him laugh and bringing up social media are the only other things I can think that he'd like…hmm. I mean, for myself, I like all kinda things, ya know?

There's accents—not to brag, but I'm, well, I'm pretty good if I do say so myself.

_"Chris, can you not-"_

And petting zoos. There's somethin' about 'em that really makes me all warm and fuzzy.

_"Oh my god, Chris-"_

I did a Sherlock parody once. Big hit. 'Watson, it must be so absurdly boring in that simple head of yours. Watson, do I arouse you?' Quite the parody. Do you think Sherlock could play Toxic on the violin?

.

**10p.m**

Dan stood lonely on the veranda. He had been waiting for a good twenty minutes and was beginning to get bored. Just then the sliding glass door sounded and he looked over his shoulder. Phil walked the small steps down to Dan with a shy smile.

"Phil," he greeted with a warm grin. "Finally, I was beginning to get a bit bored. Funny, isn't it? We're at a huge villa like this and I was starting to get bored. Did the others go to sleep-"

"Fuck!" Ian cried out and stumbled down the steps leading down from the sliding glass door, and landed on the corner of the fire-pit. "My shoudler—fuck, fuck, fucking; call an amberlamps, fuck!"

"Ian, oh my god," Dan rushed over and knelt besides him. "What happened?" The three looked back to the door to see Manesh standing there with a bland expression.

"He pushed me!"

"did not do such thing"

"Yes you did, you filthy liar!"

Anthony pushed by Manesh and started down towards Ian. "You okay, man?"

"He's trying to kill me, Ant!" Ian hollered and clutched his shoulder. Anthony looked at Ian and then back at Manesh.

"Manesh, what the fuck, man?"

"i do not do push him"

Anthony sighed. "Whatever. Look, c'mon. It's probably just sprained or something," He picked up Ian and started back inside. Ian glared at Manesh all the while. Dan and Phil stared at Manish until it became uncomfortable for all of them.

"i sleep now" he said but continued to stand there. A good minute passed until he finally shuffled off and closed the sliding glass door.

Dan and Phil both bursted out in laughter. "What in the fuck just happened?" Dan tried to catch his breath as did Phil.

"I don't know, but I hope Ian's alright." The two finally calmed down and just stood there. The sound of grasshoppers chirping and the water of a nearby fountain was all that was heard.

"Where's everyone else?" Dan asked.

Phil shrugged. "Chris told us to-"

"Chris? As in Chris Kendall? Oh, Christ.." Dan buried his head in his hands and chuckled.

"Yeah actually. He told us to meet you out here, but everyone kind of went their own separate way…" Phil trailed off and thought. "I wonder why, though. It doesn't make much sense."

Dan tucked the corner of his lips into his mouth. "That it doesn't."

.x.x.x

**Elsewhere**

Joey stood in one of the many bathrooms, splashing cool water on his face. Anthony had previously told him that he and Shane wouldn't be able to talk to Dan that night since Chris kicked them out. This both angered and relieved Joey. He had to play his cards right, and trying to talk to Dan with so many guys around would be difficult.

He stared at himself in the mirror for a while, his hands gripping the edge of the counter. Just then a slim figure leaned against the doorframe.

"Joey, right?"

Joey turned to the figure. "Depends. What do you want? I don't wanna get caught up in stupid things."

The figure sighed. "I heard you consider Shane's offer, why not consider mine? I know what you're really after. We're not too different. In fact, our plans really go hand in hand."

Joey turned and leaned against the counter. "I'm listening."

"I'll help you win, and just that alone would already do me a huge favor."

Drops from the previously running faucet plopped against the granite as Joey's eyes challenged the cold, black ones. "What are you after?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm helping you win, what more could you want?" The figure stared towards Joey, the heels of his dress shoes clacked against the linoleum. He held out his hand. "Do we have an alliance, Joey?"

There was an empty pause as Joey studied his bony hand. "We do, Charlie."

.x.x.x.

This is actually proving to be a lot of fun to write, woo. I'm thinking about including a bit of interactive moments throughout the story, so let me know if you'd like to do something like that maybe! I keep this updated about every other day. Thanks so much for reading c:

**Love Always,**

**ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl**


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